It’s funny how God works, isn’t it?
I mean, he orchestrates things like some cosmic conductor, bringing in the right event at the right time and creating the right heart conditions within us to make an impact. He’s like some sort of giant chess master, setting up some brilliant strategy to bring us deeper into unity with him. Sometimes I find myself thinking: “Great move God; now look where you’ve taken us” only to realize later on: “Wow, you had something enormous in mind.” It’s like I’m merely focusing on killing pawns, whereas he has an all-encompassing strategy. It’s like my view- my capacity- is very limited, whereas his is limitless.

That’s how my walk has been thus far, anyway. Sometimes it’s like Jesus is driving me, pulling me up this disgustingly difficult slope and the sun is beating down on my back; tired and thirsty I cry out: “Why must I endure all this? It’s terrible!” But when we reach the apex, well, it’s breathtaking. My entire concept of reality shifts as I look down from the heights on the landscape below: Jesus is helping me see things clearly.

I went to a four day camp out in Bonao with a youth church from La Vega. I was expecting perhaps a tranquil weekend getaway- a chance to relax and recharge. Well, I think those expectations were blown out of the water when they started constantly blaring the same theme song over and over out of the cafeteria, having rock concerts at one in the morning and blasting our cabins with megaphones and sirens to wake us up at six. It was crazy; we barely slept at all and the days were packed with competitions and activities.

I remember on day one seeing a sign posted in our cabin that read (in Spanish): Smile Please, Jesus Lives. I remember being annoyed by the assertion, and for the life of me I could not smile. I considered how I knew intellectually that Jesus lived; I just didn’t feel it existentially. By Monday, however, things had changed.

I don’t think anyone left that place the same- each testimony was unique, yet unified. They combined beautifully like the threads of a tapestry to colorfully display the new community God had made us into. I felt utterly new and coherent, having received the strongest affirmation of my life that I am loved by Christ and that he will never let me go . During our times of prayer, I heard his voice and felt his touch- gentle and caring, yet blazing with passion- and it brought me into a headspace of inexpressible bliss. I’m not sure how long we spent there, soaking in his presence, but it was heart-rending. I had never encountered such satisfaction; such blessing.

As I lifted my hands in thankfulness and praise, I saw Jesus coming around the corner and into my room- face gleaming with brilliance and with transcendent love. “Look at me,” he cried out, “I have risen!” We met in a powerful embrace and in great laughter, tears streaking down my cheeks. The sense of fullness and intimacy, of acceptance and peace, was incomparable.

I was led to a moment of total surrender; laying my life out before him. When you meet the creator of the universe in a tangible way and find that he loves you beyond your wildest dreams, what else can you do? I let the King take his throne.